Mom's Sweet Life

If you're a parent, do you enjoy being a parent?

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• Yes, all the time
• Most of the time
• It's harder than I thought it would be
• I regret my life choices often

MOM'S SWEET LIFE

Today is January 18, 2026. I am a mom of three children, one daughter who is almost an adult, one daughter who is

starting her preteen life but wishing she was an adult, and one son who I barely see because he is always gaming. Being a mom is probably the hardest thing I have ever undertaken in my life. The dichotomy of my heart is that I desired to be a mom my entire life, but now I rarely enjoy it. I desired to have 17 children when I was a kid, many of whom I wanted to adopt. And now that I have adopted three kids, I see that the beauty of having children has slowly dissipated into a whimper of finding myself laying in bed, grieving the life I had before all of the chaos, and fighting the never ending journey of past traumaversaries, prayers that never seem to produce fruit, and judgements from the very children, through glares and under their breath comments of how unfair of parents we truly are ever began.

Evey day, something dramatic happens causing one of the two girls to have a melt down, and drama ensues causing my mental health to be trapped in this whirlwind of calamity of something that foster parenting and adoptive classes never prepared my mama bear heart for. My husband is left speechless and my son left in bewilderment as three women, under the same roof, attributing attitudes and rolling of eyes at the same time, while the men in the home try to escape the reality of menses by hiding alone in their man caves.

I never anticipated the heart ache of life for my children before we were in the picture. The trauma is real, and I feel less than adequately equipped to help them learn to cope with the hurt they deal with; the remembrance every time we pass a police car, or a car accident; the amount of trauma they feel every time a movie like Precious comes on the television; the memory that life is not normal around every holiday; and I feel the need to somewhat compensate for the fact that I am not their "real mom" every other day.

The truth is, I am the one that they call when they have an owie and need to go to the doctor. I am the one who cooks for them most nights. I am the one my girls come to talk about their girl stuff with, or my son asks life questions to. I am the one they go shopping with, go to get their nails done with, cry with, laugh with, ask for their personal items for... I AM THEIR REAL MOM. And maybe my overcompensation is to remind them that I am their real mom, or to remind myself that I am their real mom instead of the guilt I feel for not being their mom sooner to protect them from the abuse and heart ache that was once theirs to behold.

As much as I am tired and often need to express my grievances to my God, if given the opportunity, I would adopt each of them again. They saved my life. They helped me look beyond my own needs to invite someone who was completely dependent on me so I could guide them into independence. I am truly blessed that they call me mom, and as much as I miss the good ole days when it was just Jason and me going wherever, whenever we wanted to, I wouldn't give up this mom life for anything, because this life is truly sweet.

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